Category Archives: do-it-yourself NLP
Hey guys, I am glad to be back here. You know, this past weeks I was so engrossed in writing my ebook on quitting smoking. I wanted to finish it in two weeks’ time so that I could move on with my other tasks. I actually missed my target as I went over another week for editing works, but it’s worth it. Finally, thank God because just today, I have submitted my manuscript to Amazon Kindle, Smashwords and to its ebook channels/retailer partners in different regions. I always say I am proud of this book because it is about my personal story of successful cold turkey quitting, and it is a real cold turkey.
Millions of copies of different books on how to quit smoking have been sold to millions of people in the planet for years, and yet there are hundreds of millions of smokers today who are STILL looking for the right solution. Is it because the majority of those smokers who said they quit did not really quit forever?
Quitting smoking had not been easy for me in 30 years. Like most smokers, I always treated quitting as an almost impossible dream, but despite, I always had that urge to quit. What I realized was that, and I admittedly regret it today, I never really sat down and contemplated the possible reasons why I couldn’t easily quit; what had been causing my dependence to nicotine? I knew I would always fail quitting, but every time I would have the urge to quit and get myself out of addiction, I always found myself back in the same rut. That realization was in fact, the reason why I pushed through with my idea of writing this book.
The title of the book is “How Did I Quit Smoking After 30 Years?” with subtitle “Who says a cold turkey way is not possible? Discover how I tasted victory after 30 long years. You too can be smoke-free for a lifetime.” which I dedicated to my father who died of lung cancer seven years ago.
Each chapter of the book is designed to condition/prepare the readers’ mind for the quitting process which is toward the last chapters. The beauty of this book is that it is entirely different from the other quit smoking books in the market. The process is very practical that any human being can understand and perform on their own. In the end upon realizing your successful result, you will be amazed while you can’t help but scratch your head and say: I never thought it could be this easy; where has this idea been hiding all these years? I myself scratched my head :). Thanks to my NLP skills.
I hope you will find time to check it out from your favorite ebook channels in the internet in the next couple of weeks, although it is now available in Smashwords today and it will be on Amazon within 24 hours from the time I posted this blog. I recommend this book as your gift to yourself if you are a smoker wanting to quit, if not, as your gift to someone else smoking.
Until next time!
Are you reacting or responding? No one wins in any verbal or physical fight, when both parties begin to throw each other invective words and hurting statements or when both engage in a physical fight, because both are reacting to their present circumstance. But when the other party begins to pause for a while and begin to think and use the mind rather than the emotion, that person is responding by reacting favorably to himself/herself and in the end, the responding person wins. Then harmonious relationship can be achieved.
Seek ye the path of no resistance. Go for the harmony.
I trained under different disciplines of martial arts such as Karate, Stick fighting (Arnis De Mano) and Aikido. Karate and Arnis are both aggressive combative fighting where the only way to survive is by hitting the opponent really hard by going over and against the opponent’s fighting skills. Going that way will surely drain your energy in the end, win or lose. That way, you may win the battle but you’ll lose the war. On the other hand, Aikido is the most graceful form of all martial arts. In fact, it doesn’t require fighting stance in the first place because it is not designed to destroy your opponent by your own force or strength but by your opponents’ own strength. The best way to win the match is by staying relaxed but focused during the fight. Your goal is to win without resisting the opponents’ attack by leading their attacking hand or feet away from your body gracefully, making your opponents release their energy into the air. You defend yourself without taking any blow. Hence, draining the energy of the opponent. This way, you win both the battle and the war.
We experience this analogy of martial arts in our lives many times over as the loser. Simply because we are conditioned to react and not respond properly to a given situation. For example, the lack of harmony in our family is often times caused by a member or members who react to things due to lack of understanding of the situation or present condition. If we can understand where the other party is coming from in an argument then, we can suspend our conclusion or judgment. In the end, we will be able to respond properly. People who reacts are usually people who are emotionally mature (with low emotional quotient) or people who are not proactive.
We have prejudices about the people we know, even about our loved ones. And you know what prejudice is- preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience. That preconceived opinion about others is a common cause of conflict in many relationships, even in our own family. If only that everyone in this world can change their attitude about one another, there will always be peace on earth. But it is not that easy to change.
If one wants to change, the first thing one must do is to change his own perception about himself. Neurologically, we react to people, event or things based on our perception about our own self. What we see within is what we see without. Ask yourself now, do you have respect for your boss or teacher or parents or authorities, espouse, siblings or neighbors? If you are sure that it is a yes then kudos, you truly is a man who value yourself as human being. If it is a no, then you already know the answer. In Mathew 7:2, the Bible says, For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
Along with this here are some thoughts for us to ponder:
- The 3 F’s: Forgive, Forgive, Forgive…
- Exercise MEEKNESS all the time. But it doesn’t mean we are submissive to the discord and disorder, we are meek only to the law. We are meek when we don’t get angry or argue; when we stop resisting; when we don’t insist upon our right; when we are humble, righteous, teachable and patient.
- The 3 L’s: Listen, Listen, Listen…
- Ditch the pride.
- Bless your opponents.
- Do good to them that hate you.
- Remove the opposition from your consciousness, work from your own mind.
- Destroy your enemies by making them your friends.
- Befriend your internal critique.
- How are we going to be at that moment?
- Keep our mind on the objectives and we will ultimately win reaching the goal.
- We say we want abundance or good health or happy marriage or success in business or career. But anytime we are agreeing with conditions that are difficult, or talk about poverty or any past negative experiences, we actually are creating resistance to the very thing we want.
- When Jesus healed the sick, he never agreed that sickness was present in the person who was sick. He did not even agreed that Lazarus or the child were already dead so miracle could happen. It is simply a typical proof of being nonresistant.
- Work with and for that which we want, not over and against what we want.
- Setting up a resistance barred the way of our good coming into us.
- How to open up the floodgates of blessings?… By being in agreement with all that is prosperous.
- Water is a non-resistant element. Be like it- Adaptable to changes; Can fit it in any situation or condition; Free flowing.
- Learn to relax and let it flow freely.
- The 3 R’s: Respond, Respond, Respond…
Reprogram your mind by developing the habit of pondering on good thoughts that can develop you as a person. A simple do-it-yourself NLP can help you change. Changes begin from taking small steps.
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One of my favorite techniques to overcome bad memories is the one that I learned from the co-founder of the original NLP, Richard Bandler. And I want to share this powerful technique with you through an audio recording so you, too, will benefit from it. In this audio you may notice a big difference in approach between Psychology and NLP, if you know what I’m talking about. (If not, please don’t ask me about it because that is not the purpose of this blog post today. Perhaps in the future I can post relevant articles if you want to know the difference between the two in terms of approaches and techniques). Anyway, I am sharing this audio as a solution in case you are suffering from bad memories that are causing you emotional pain today. This can also help you release anger, resentment, nervousness or fear. Or anything that you think is causing you emotional disturbance.
Most people, just choose to groan inwardly simply because they can’t open up or tell anyone about how they feel and why they feel that way. Instead of being able to express despair, disapproval or distress, they just keep quiet and keep it to themselves for a longer time until this negative feeling becomes a trigger to a much difficult life situation or health condition. May I remind you that negative emotion can only bring harmful effects to your body cells, up to the cellular level that can cause degenerative diseases such as heart ailment and all types of cancer. So, why will you keep it if you can release it. Why will you keep that lump in your throat if there’s a way to take it out and free yourself up. Why go bananas if you can learn how to handle your emotion. And I’m telling you there is better way of doing that. You can do it yourself. Yes, on your own, soon as you learn from this audio.
Remember, you are not living alone. Your family loves you and they need you to be around. They want to enjoy life together with you. That’s how family is. The reason I am telling you this is because, your bad memories that you buried there somewhere in your mind will never stop bothering you even in your sleep. That’s why people have nightmares or bad dreams.That is also the reason why sometimes you show an unwanted attitude and exude an annoying behavior. The truth is, you don’t actually want to be like this but that bad memories in your subconscious is fully alive and running your life on auto-pilot. Anything that you see, hear, feel, touch or taste that your brain can associate with your deeply seated bad memories will trigger negative attitude and behavior. The problem is, you don’t know why it is happening to you. You don’t know how to get rid of the cause.
To live a peaceful, happy, comfortable and a fully functional life, one must learn how to control his/her emotion. But how? Controlling our emotions can lead us to success. To be a fully functional and productive employee or business man, a nice loving espouse or parents or just a normal wonderful person, you have to be on top of your emotions all the time.
And this audio will tell you the secret and in just a few minutes, you will begin to live harmoniously and experience freedom once again. Good luck.
Special thanks to Dr. Richard Bandler, co-founder of original NLP.
This article is going to be a short one. I just wanted you to know that there is a powerful and fastest way to fight your depression or any negative emotions like sadness, hopelessness or the effect of disappointment, or failure, grief. Whether you are depressed or just bummed out, this powerful technique worked best for me and will surely work for you.
Sometimes I have to go through all the emotional pain and suffering in order for me to discover the best possible solution to help myself out and improve my well being. What I am going to share with you is unique and based on my original concept.
But before that, let me tell you first that I developed and used this this concept a year ago and because I continue to experiment and create new concept now and then on how to improve people’s well being, I have forgotten about it. I have a terrible filing system even in my laptop so it is unlikely that I will easily notice that I buried something very important somewhere. In short, it just showed up again because the Universe knew I would need it again. I was suffering from emotional pain because of the many unwanted events that happened to me and my family in the past weeks. It wasn’t that easy. In fact, I realized that there really is no “superman” in this world. And if ever there is, that guy has its own kryptonite that can shoot him down. It only goes to show we are all human. However, for as long as you find a way to keep away from your own kryptonite, it cannot bother you all the time.
When I reunited with my buried written instructions again, my negative feeling began to shift so fast as I could still sense its powerful energy that helped me before. I immediately experienced great relief. I read it and followed the instructions and in just a few minutes, my emotional pain and suffering is gone. I felt I was born again, as if nothing happened even if I knew there is still a lot of mess to clean up along the way. But thank holiness, I can face all this now with courage and my high self-esteem.
If you need a lift right now, you can immediately use this to feel better. If not, you can try and practice it to familiarize yourself with it. Otherwise, just bookmark this post and go back to it when the time that you need this comes. So, without further ado, here is the simplified version of my NLP technique on how to eradicate depression or negative emotion, for you…
- Sit in a comfortable chair. A nice meditation music can help but is not necessary.
- Just be comfortable. Then close your eyes and take a deep breath…
- Whatever negative emotion you are feeling now, just accept it and feel it more. Never resist that feeling. Let it flow…
- Check your body. Where do you feel that emotion? Do you feel a heaviness in your chest area? Head area? Is it in your stomach or in the back? Is it in the shoulder area? Identify the location and focus your attention there for a while…
- Now, try to imagine what the heaviness or pain looks like. (In my case, when I feel the heaviness or pain in my chest when I feel lonely or frustrated, I see it like a dark lump or sometimes it looks like a dark smoke with irregular shape slowly spinning in one direction. You may see it in a different image.) It doesn’t really matter how you see it. That is how you create your own representation of how you feel.
- In your mind, Take the image with your hand and place it in front of you, about 2 feet away.
- Focus on that image of your negative feeling. Then, think about love. Ask yourself how you want to represent love as you concentrate on that image of negative feeling. Your mind will surely and immediately give you a suggestion of how you want to represent it. (In my case, when I think of love, I see a picture of the heart in my mind. A red heart.)
- When you see that image already (a few inches away from your negative image (right or left or above it), notice how you feel. You will feel the energy of love within your body. You will feel it stronger in your chest area. Spend a few more seconds to enjoy that feeling. You will feel that sense of relief immediately because you were having a bad feeling earlier.
- Now, look at the two images in front of you- the “love” and the “negative emotion”. Upon seeing both of them, quickly bring the “love” over the “negative emotion”. Upon seeing this happening you will notice that the “negative emotion” is fading out or banishing itself. See it happening in a few seconds only.
- When the “negative emotion” is gone you will feel that pure “love” right away.
- Because the image is two feet away in front of you right now, you can slowly bring it closer you. Slowly. And as you pull it closer to you, the image of love gets bigger and bigger. As it gets bigger, you will feel the love getting stronger and stronger. Enjoy that moment where love is so pure.
- Then, gently snap that “love” into your chest area. When you have done that, you will feel complete. Love will bring that magic in your life.
- And finally, say these magic words: I love you, please forgive me. I love myself, I forgive myself. I care for you. I care about myself. I understand you. I understand myself. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
- Open your eyes. The job is done. Face the world with unconditional love.
Can you do it again when you need it. Well, no one says you can’t. Soon as you are able to achieve this positive feeling and that sense of unconditional love, the positive flow of life that the law of attraction has set for you will be reactivated immediately. And you are once again, reunited.
Have a nice day!
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Cramming is either my best friend or my best enemy. When I cram, I get some energy boost as I feel a surge of energy rushing through my body. Like most people I am better off when I cram. However, it doesn’t happen all the time. There are times that I become my own victim of cramming. I run out of time, the quality of my works suffers, it impairs my memory when I cram for my talk or speech. Those are just a few negative consequences of my bad habit. Some students who cram most of the time suffer from erratic grades- depriving their body of sleep is not worth it academically. They also suffer from impaired memory as this bad routine (cramming) works against the memorization of some key ideas. However, if you ask some students, like my daughter who is a sophomore in college, will tell you that cramming helps them to get better grades because mugging helps them to study with determination. However, the result is short-term. An active learning practice by the students equals a long-term retention of materials in their memory. Good or bad, it leaves you a bad mark in your well being. Whether you like it or not, the negative effect of cramming will haunt you in the future. Therefore it must be stopped. A bad habit, if you don’t know how to do away with, will give you so much trouble in the long run. But if you only know how to end this cramming or squeezing of your work into insufficient time or space, you will enjoy more fun and freedom in your personal life.
Cramming as a way of putting materials together in an insufficient space or time, is a negative situation resulting from procrastination or a procrastinating habit. To eradicate the cramming habit, you must identify first what is the cause or causes of the delay of your course or courses of action. That’s how you analyze it in NLP perspective. Most of the causes you will discover when you begin your own process are side trips. Let me use myself as an example. Sometimes it takes me a long time before I can really concentrate on writing my articles or working on my training modules for some reason which I am aware of. And if you are also a procrastinator you will discover why you do it in the first place if you will just come to think of it. In my case, the reason why I procrastinate on writing my materials is because I find it as a difficult task. It is like when you feel sluggish to go to the gym for your workout because you find it taxing or sometimes a boring routine. So, because of that feeling you stay a bit for a while in your house and begin to read newspaper or watch some TV program until your mood shifts, then you go. So, rather than beginning my work immediately because it is time to work on it, I pause for a while and watch my favorite TV show and say to myself—“let me just take a look at the news for a while.” That “for a while” will extend from 30 minutes up to a few hours before I can really focus and start doing it. A big chunk of my time has been wasted. It makes me unproductive within that period.
Overcoming Procrastinating Habit:
Please note that this will work effectively if you apply it when you find yourself procrastinating already. However, as a matter of practice, do this exercise so that you will be guided when you find yourself in the act of procrastinating.
Close your eyes and think about a task or work or project or anything you struggle to start doing or to finish because you procrastinate. By thinking about it you will see the image or picture of it. Notice how you feel as you think about doing it. What negative emotion can you elicit from the image?
When you have identified which location the emotion is coming from, then in your imagination use your hand and pull out that emotion, as you represented it with an image earlier. Then place it in front of you about 6 inches away from your face. And leave it there. Notice how you feel. The emotion may still be intense. Pull the image closer about an inch from your face and notice again how you feel. It could be more intense than if it were 6 inches away. Now, push that image farther by about 1 foot. Then notice how you feel. Then push it farther and away by 10 feet. Notice how you feel. If you can still see it while it is 10 feet away, you will feel some emotion, although it has been diminished by this time. Just leave it there 10 feet away for a while.
Now, Think about your usual side trip when you procrastinate. The side trip usually happens soon as you feel the emotion you just pulled out a while ago when you think of doing the task. It could be seeing yourself picking up the TV’s remote control or going to the direction of the refrigerator to get some food or picking up your cellphone to call someone instead, what have you.
Your imagination could have gone ahead of you this time as you think about it. Go back to the very beginning, from where it is about to start. For example, if it is picking up the remote control of the TV to start viewing your favorite TV show instead of beginning to work on your project, see yourself in the act of picking up the remote control and freeze it right there in front of you.
Now, go back to the image of your emotion you left there at 10 feet away. Pull the image closer in front of you. You will notice that as you pull it toward you, the image gets bigger and your negative emotion gets more intense again. Then combine the image of that emotion with the image of your act that you just froze a while ago. Put them together in one picture, side by side.
This time, with the image in front of you, make it bigger. As you make it bigger, the emotion becomes more intense. Then double the feeling as you double the size of the image.
Then, push that image away from you by a foot away and notice how you feel. Then push it a little more away from you by 10 feet.
Then as you look at it from afar, quickly shrink that image into the smallest size as you can. Then blink it black and white and as it blinks, push it farther and farther until you see it no more.
Then check your feeling. Think about that task you procrastinate on again. How do you feel about it now? Has the level of emotion gone down? I am sure it went down significantly. However, you may still feel it. If that is so, just repeat the process until the emotion is completely gone.
Now, imagine yourself in front of you, facing you. See yourself feeling enthusiastic about doing your task. See yourself so excited about doing it and that you intend to finish it. Focus on the positive emotion- it could be joy, excitement, drive, enthusiasm, eagerness to finish, what have you. Then, as you see yourself having that positive emotion, float yourself up into your image in front of you.
When you have possessed your own image, see what you see, hear what you hear, feel what you feel and double the feeling more and more. Stay with that condition for a few moment before you open your eyes. When you are done, open your eyes. Stand up slowly and begin doing your task immediately.
CONGRATULATIONS! Until next time.
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